The alarm goes off at 5:30am. She’s so mentally and physically exhausted. It’s difficult to get going but she can’t afford to be late to work again. Shower, dressed, hair and makeup done by 6am. Kids up and dressed after she tries her best to throw breakfast together for the kids (please don’t let it burn, oh PLEASE don’t let it burn).
She hopes for no tantrums as they get out the door by 7am to arrive at the day care by 7:15am. All too quick are the hugs and kisses. Oh this is so hard and the absolute WORST part of her day. She holds back her tears to display a brave face for her kids.
10 HOURS….9 if she’s lucky….away from her babies. 10 hours in another’s care. That’s 50 hours a week. 200 hours without them a month. She’s going crazy thinking about the “firsts” she’s missing. Trying to focus on her work but…are they ok, are they being looked after and fed?
Lunch is leftovers from the night before. Hamburger helper again…only with a little less hamburger this week. She watches groups go off to lunch together as she uses this time to study. She must have some sleep tonight. Her lunch hour goes by quick but the work day goes by so…very…slow.
Her boss is demanding overtime today. She desperately needs the money but no one to pick up her kids and she’s missed them so very much all day today. Her hours are already short for this week because her babies were sick.
Back in her car at 5pm. She thinks about what needs to be done while sitting in rush hour traffic. 1 hour gone. Gas wasted…time wasted.
The kids leap in to her arms. Lots of hugs and kisses. This is the absolute BEST part of her day.
Home close to 7pm as she pulls into their driveway but she pauses to look for signs of an intruder. She lives with the heaviest furniture in front of every window, new locks and a new frame on the front door. Hoping there won’t be another break in but with a drug dealer across the street and the rest full of crack heads, who knows when they will be targeted again. All she can do at this point is hope that they aren’t home when it happens.
She breaths a sigh of relief that the lights are still on and the water is still flowing as she attempts to cook, help with homework and play all at the same time.
Turn up the TV or music so the kids can’t hear the constant sounds of sirens or gun fire. She’s on the verge of tears…as she looks at the pile of dirty dishes, floor full of laundry to be done and not enough food in the pantry. She really can’t afford to mess up any more meals. There’s a stack of unopened bills that she’s afraid to open. Believing that if she doesn’t open them then they don’t exist can only work for so long. And to make matters worse her AC isn’t working properly.
The kids having a nice evening at home is more important to her than her feelings and fears. She pushes the waves of emotion back as far as she can. Please don’t break down in front of them. Is it already 9pm? She hasn’t cuddled with them enough so bedtime extends until 10pm. The trio climbs in to bed together for safety and comfort. She reads them a book and sings them a song. She cries as they fall deeper into sleep. How did she get here? When will things get better? Are they better off without her? Is this how life will always be…day in and day out? She feels like a failure.
She slowly climbs out of bed so not to disturb them. She turns on the computer and pulls out her books. She can no longer keep her eyes open at 1am rolls in. She climbs in between her precious babies. They both fit perfectly inside each arm as if that spot was made perfectly for their tiny bodies. She prays for things she doesn’t want the little ones to worry about. Listening to their sweet snores, lulls her weak and exhausted body to sleep.*
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of him who prospers in his way. ~Psalm 37:7
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy -laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me for I am gentle and humble in heart and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and my load is light. ~ Matthew 11:28-30
I often wonder, if teenage girls really knew just how difficult single parenting is would they consider different choices and then encourage their friends to do the same? Schools teach them about using protection and surprisingly enough they do promote abstinence. But the motivation the school provides to NOT have sex is the possibility getting pregnant. When you’re talking to girls who crave love, attention …a family, then this is NOT a motivation for them to wait for marriage. When boy after boy breaks up with them, they soon realize that there is one way to always feel loved and to have purpose and a baby provides all of that.
Even if the schools provide these girls with real life scenerios of single motherhood, their basic need of love is not being met. This is where the locals churches come in….to teach them what Jesus knew best….LOVE.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ~ 1 John 4:8