Why Did I Go Back To Him??
Have you ever asked yourself that question? Maybe you ask it a lot.
Maybe you feel angry for going back. Again.
He promised change, things will be different…when deep, DEEP DOWN you know that’s not going to happen. And yet, here you are again. And another year of your precious life has passed.
You are in some way, “chemically hooked” on being treated less than what you are worth. It’s the enemy at work. We tolerate and accept the love we feel we are most deserving of.
Most often you know in your heart that he is wrong for you. Especially wrong for your children to look up to. You have been conditioned over the years to accept the drama…the hurt. Understand that your expectations for being treated like a diamond is not unrealistic. Get to know yourself. Know your worth and expect nothing less.
You may stay or go back to him because you LOVE him. Love will be enough to fix this. The ONLY love that conquers all is God’s love. Feelings are never facts. Our hearts can deceive and blind us. Understand that women who know their worth through God’s eyes have got their act together and have no patience nor the time for anything less. And when women believe that and know that to be true…guess what happens? They no longer attract that same type of jerky guy with hidden personality traits.
What you see with your heart is a skewed perspective. God ALWAYS sees clearly. Ask Him for wisdom and guidance and rely solely on Him.
” He is my strength when I am weak. His is my rock when I am slipping. He is my deliverer when I am trapped. He is my fortress when I am crumbling. He is my refuge when I am pursued. He is my shield when I am exposed. He is my Lord when life spins out of control. He is unconditional love.” Psalm 18 1-2, 46:1 and 2 Samuel 22
You have thought about breaking up, you have tried to break up or you continue to break up over and over again. If you are honest with yourself then you realize this is because you know he is wrong for you. Every guy knows what to do to get the girl back after she leaves him. And every time you go back, he loses more and more respect for the girl. Simply encouraging more bad behavior to see just what the girl will tolerate. If this is you, know that your time and your heart is more valuable than that.
The moment you are willing to accept less than your worth and are willing to tolerate disrespect, bad behavior and little regard …then that is exactly what you will get. So…don’t accept it and do not tolerate it.
You can not change him. If you spend your time trying to save him or fix him, he will grow to resent you. People only change if they want to change and they will most often do it for themselves, not for anyone else. Take a look at a guy who you can accept as is...no change required or desired. Give a nice guy a chance.
If it is loneliness that keeps you going back then evaluate why you have a hard time being by yourself. Spend some time getting to know you and what really makes you tick. Get closer to God and allow Him to mold you into the type of woman who attracts a man worthy of your love, attention and time. By spending your time deep in His word, you are becoming wiser and better equipped to making the right choices in a future spouse.
Model your ideal partner after some of God’s greatest personality traits:
- He provides you with unconditional love
- He is your anchor
- You are precious and cherished
- He provides you with words of life, guidance and encouragement
- He is forever faithful
- He is not quick to anger
- He wants to spend time with you
- He is giving and generous
- He protects you
- He is supportive
- He loves you like no other
- His love never has to be earned nor can never be lost
THIS is also what Christ expects for you. After spending most of my dating life doing the same thing, I finally realized and accepted my worth and then suddenly my soul mate appears. It took me 32 years to find him but he was worth every single second of my wait!
” I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19
If you are searching for your God-given soul mate then please read what God has to say about preparing you for him – 10 Steps To Make You Ready For Your Soul Mate.